Kisses
by Cassie Jamie
Summary: In the end, the kisses aren't the most important. SLASH
1. Kisses

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Pairing: H/E

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Kisses

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            I didn't start thinking until after the trucks and fire marshals arrived.  Alexx was already there, tending to the bodies and ordering her assistants to preserve the evidence.  Tim and Calleigh were off somewhere, starting the investigation with…

            Horatio.

            That's when the night's events came back.  A great flood of memories – Speed's plea that I come with him, flashing badges to get to the head of the line…drinking, Connie.

            I had to talk to H, went looking for him.  He was standing in what used to be the club owner's office, talking about the safe.  And my nerve melted away.  How exactly does one explain that he just spent part of the night all over a girl whose last name is currently an unknown?

            So I say nothing at all.  Merely stand there, taking him in before I have to spill out all the information contained guiltily in my gut.

            It isn't long before he notices, takes me out into the hallway, asks me to lift prints.  An affirmative answer, before I exit.

            "Hey."

            I went back to the driver's seat of the Hummer; the fabric still faintly smells like him.  I heard the phone ring as I left, and now he's standing outside the door.  The window is rolled down, and he rests a hand on the metal, "Hey."

            "Go home." His voice is full of compassion, "I want you to take the night off."

            Eyes turn to finally catch his line of sight, "I already told you I need to work, H."

            "You did." That red hair shifts as he nods, "But I think you should reconsider." Then he goes on, and my heart nearly stops, "Speed told me about Connie."

            There's suddenly this thick of something in my throat, sticky and it aches my chest, "I'm sorry."

            "Eric…"

            "I'm really sorry, Horatio."

            He sighs and goes around the side, gets into the truck, "Shut the window." He orders, so I do it, "Listen to me.  You've been drinking for one and you always get a little less cautious when you've had a couple of beers.  And I told you when you left the house to have fun."

            "But I…"

            "Did you have sex?"

            Okay, *that* was out of the blue, "What?"

            H fixes me with one of his fiercest stares, "Did. You. Have. Sex?"

            "_No." I emphasize the word; my voice is heavy with anger._

            "Then don't worry." He tells me, reaching across to wipe away some of the dark ash, "Now, I have to go to a D.B. for a higher up.  We'll talk tonight, alright?"

            "Alright." I let myself breathe, sighing tiredly.  I don't want to leave the vehicle – I want to stay here with him.  I need him right now like I need to work.

            He allows me to sit there a few minutes more, his hand continuing its ministrations, then, "I really need to go, Eric."  
And reluctantly I crack open the window again, slip out the door while he hops into the seat. Wordlessly, Horatio leaves.  Which gives me the answer to the question I'd been thinking.

            He's upset with me.  He never just goes without some sort of secret signal, some word with a meaning we know as something more.  Yet, I did something stupid this time.  So there is no one to blame except my own self.

            "Delko." Calleigh's sudden presence grates my nerves.  I spin to look at her, eyes glistening with fury, "What the hell were you _thinking?"_

            "Shut up, Cal." I mumble, rub my hands together.

            "You'd better be drunk." Her blonde hair flutters in the slight wind, "Or I'm kicking your ass."

            I feel my control gradually seeping away, like the air seeped from the club tonight.  I understand her anger, and that's what makes me upset.  Not wanting to do something I'll regret, I begin walking back to what is now our crime scene.

            However, she stops me, "Get your act together." Her voice is low with warning.

            If it would make a difference, then I would.  But I've fucked up; my act is together for now, for work.  Can't guarantee it'll stay together after that.

-*-*-

            He tosses his keys on the hallway table like he always does when he comes in; they clatter against the wall as they slide into it.

            I've been settled into the bed for an hour bathed in moonlight from the sole window not covered with a curtain; the tape holding on the gauze is itchy and I scratch it periodically to (pardon the expression) kill time.  I tried to sleep, but all the images come back and I returned to lazily digging my fingers into my skin.  Erin, Horatio's two-year old Irish Setter, was sleeping at my feet, but lifts her head as the stairs creak from his footsteps.

            The door opens and I grunt when the harsh recessed-lighting from the hallway pours in.  He says nothing.

            No noise from him as he enters the bathroom nor as he comes back and changes into his pajamas.  He shuffles beneath the covers…then lays and arm across my abdomen, "I'm not mad at you."

            "You should be."

            "Why?" His eyes been closed and he pries them open, stares at me like he did before.

            "I cheated on you."

            His cheeks redden, as he grabs my face in his hands, "Stop this!" Then he leans forward, his teeth catching my lower lip.  Then, kisses me hard, rolling me onto my back and pressing against me.  I begin to lose my sense of who is who, when he stops, "Now.  If we were two teenagers in high school, maybe I'd feel like making out were some sort of infidelity, but we're not.  We're adults.  Kisses are kisses.

            "We kiss our family and our friends when we see them.  Do I like yours and do I cherish them?  Yes.  Do I want you to feel a little bit guilty about being attracted to someone who isn't me?  Of course." He grins cynically at that, "But do I want you to beat yourself up over this?  No.  Because the case is done and you're in my house, in my bed."

            And he kisses me again, knee between my legs and tongue grazing across the roof of my mouth.

-*-*-

*v* Cassie Jamie *v*

csimiami@cassie-jamie.com


	2. Sessik

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Pairing: H/E

Sequel: Kisses

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Sessik

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            Horatio's sitting in the Q.D. lab, the journal pages on the table and his hands in their customary place.

            Speedle told me what had happened at the meth junkies' house.  His sudden alertness when our fellow CSI mentioned the name `Tinman'.  It took everything in me to not burst out right there, to not tell my coworkers that Horatio was staring at his brother's past.

            And my lover definitely doesn't like what may be staring back at him.

            "I know you're standing there." He calls out, and looks up.

            Going in, I see he's holding back tears, "What to go out for a drink?" I ask, because I know he'll say no and I can maybe, *maybe* get something from him…somehow.

            "Not really." He rubs his eyes.  Tries to hide the soft tears I know are sneaking down his face.

            "Horatio…" I manage to get his gaze, "Let's go home."

            "In a few minutes.  I just have something else to do."

            "Ray was a good cop playing a dirty one.  You've said it yourself so many times – to his son, too.  And you can't really trust what a junkie says when they're on tina."

            He's looking at me with skepticism now and opens his mouth, pink and warm, "I know that.  But everything is telling me that my brother may have been what people are telling me he was.  I didn't want to even think about that possibility." He blinks, "Now, I've got people he knew, who were there, telling me that Raymond did…" He trails off, his face turns to the floor and sighs.

            Instinctively, I go to him and I wrap my arms around his torso, wrap my arms around his soul.  He sags against me somewhat, and I know he's tired.  This information is draining him.

            "He really did drugs, Eric.  He looked me in the eye and fucking lied to me and to Yelena." He chokes out.

            H's compassion and faith in people is something that makes him so definitely human.  So vulnerable because he likes to think promises are like contracts.  And I understand his heart is breaking.

            Because Ray just couldn't tell his brother he was doing something he shouldn't.

            Worse, I know Horatio's going to flip through his memories and find every instance that the younger Caine displayed any indication he was   
using.  And the redhead I am currently holding will blame himself for not noticing them.

            He shifts, pulling back and stares at me, his eyes latching onto my own.  He tilts his head and thoroughly throws caution to the wind – he catches my lips, suckles at my tongue.  He kisses me hard, than harder, until I'm backed against the far wall where people can't see us through the glass.  Or so we hope.

            Only when the need for air is great does he remove himself and I realize the wetness on my face, the tremble of bodies was not made by me, but by him with fears and tears.

            "I love you." He lisps out, and I can see what he's really saying.

            "I'll never do drugs, okay?  And if you ever think I am, call me on it." I make sure he hears me.

            Those blue pools I get lost in on a regular basis sparkle a little more than they did when I first arrived.  Horatio laughs and my heart lifts a little higher.

            He comes in again and this time I kiss him back more aggressively, my hands fall immediately to his waist and find their usual spot resting lightly against his hips.

            "I wish Ray could've met you." He whispers, slipping a hand under my shirt to rubs circles into my belly, "He'd have liked you."

            "Did he…" I've been dying to ask, to know if Ray knew his brother better than H knew him.

            "He knew.  Lena does too." He smiles blithely, a tiny bit morosely, "Home.  Bed."

            "'s fine with me." This time I reach up for him, bite his lower lip before I pull him completely.  The hand stills, and I writhe until he re-starts his ministrations.

            "Really now.  Y'all are gonna attract attention if you don't stop making out in the lab." Calleigh's sudden teasing forces us apart.

            "Oh, but it's more fun like this.  The thrill of getting caught." I reply once he backs away, but what a picture he presents. His hair is tousled, his shirt is disheveled, his lips are kiss-swollen, and his eyes are tinged a near-red.

            "Consider yourselves caught." She grins delicately, "Tim and I were going out for a drink.  You're both welcome to join us."

            He looks at me, and I nod at him, "Another night.  I just want to go home and go to sleep." He smoothes out the wrinkles of his silk suit.

            "Sure, sleep.  I'll see you boys tomorrow.  Now, hurry and get out of here." And then she's gone, laughing.

-*-*-

            Crashing through the door, he's already pulling off his jacket.  My mouth is on his, ravishing each others' and he's running hands on my sides. H presses me against the hallway wall, the solid length of his body holding me in place.

            I'm divested of my shirt, my pants, before he lets me finally fit hands between our chests.  He's in his favorite shirt, so I happily untuck it and _carefully unbutton the top.  It falls away, leaving his thin undershirt as a cover, but I leave it for now.  I move on to his trousers._

            Some nights he wears pajamas to bed.  Because he knows how much I like undressing him, seeing him like it's the first time all over again.  What can I say?  I'm a hopeless romantic.

            I've gotten him out of almost everything and we stand here, clad in boxers and he with his wife-beater as well.  But I see the tense muscle and the slight shake of his shoulders.

            "Horatio. Come on." I take his hand and lead him to what is now quite our bedroom.  He lays down without preamble, and snuggles underneath the flannel blanket while the AC spews out more cold air.

            Climbing in beside him, he looks at me, eyes still saucer-huge with lust, "I'm sorry.  I just can't stop thinking about Ray."

            "No apologies." He rolls to his side, lays an arm around my chest.  I contain a laugh of irony that a week ago it was he who was trying to convince me I'd done nothing wrong.  Now I'm trying so hard to get him to relax.

            Another kiss and he blinks back sleep.  I blow a puff of air across his cheek and he gives me the first genuine smile of the day, "Not tired."

            "Really? Coulda fooled me." Caress his cheek and gather him to me.  Peck of lips to his forehead, and he's out like a light, the stunning realization that Ray wasn't all he seemed packed away for now, to be dealt with at a different time.

-*-*-

*v* Cassie Jamie *v*

csimiami@cassie-jamie.com


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